What is it that defines me?
I've come to learn that material possessions don't make me.... me. If I were to lose my car, my clothes, my house.... I would still be me. It's not always an easy thing to see. Releasing material things is freeing.... and scary. Allowing me to be content in me.
I have been allowing myself to feel these things, to sit and be present in these emotions. I wasn't aware of the importance of this until I reached my later 20's. To be okay with the emotions that I'm experiencing and aware of the process that it takes to go through them.
It's hard not to let despair settle in when life seems unsure. With life so quick-paced as it is today, it's easy to get lost in the shuffle, to become accustomed to how comfortable you are... it's easy to lose sight that nothing tangible makes up any part of you. It's like the concept of buying an instrument. Having a guitar doesn't make me a musician, the act of playing the instrument makes me a musician. If I were to lose the guitar, I would still be a musician.
With all these things stripped, what then is left? What do I love that defines who I am.
putting my hands in dirt
feeling the cool air before a rain storm
rocking my baby
These things are intangible, these emotions, the qualities of a person.
I may have to learn and relearn this concept, and I'll allow myself the space to do it. It's a valuable lesson.