Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Hello and goodbye

The cusp of transition we sit. Packing our belongings, disengaging from this space that holds so many memories. It's a strange place to be, in between two places, not quite in one, not yet in another. It's hard to just sit and accept it for the time. Because soon we will leave here and be on our way to our new place that we'll live. We have been doing the things that we love, that we will miss here. Spending time in our little green haven that was our garden, running on the short green grass of the golf course after everyone has left while the sun sets. Watching the girls play under the big trees by the lake. We have been fortunate to spend the last two years here. We have grown immensely and this little space has seen much change. I birthed my second daughter in our room upstairs. I learned how to be a mother to two, we learned more compromise and what it means to forgive without strings, we learned how to slow down and get rid of the fluff. We live more, we love deeper, we accept often, and feel stronger. We shared this space with my mom, and would not have exchanged this time for anything. I'm anticipating much change in the future. It won't be easy, we are moving in with family and I'm incredibly grateful for this opportunity to save and get back on our feet. I don't know what the future holds for us, but we walk forward with His light at our path. I'm allowing myself time this morning to breathe deep before I take the plunge of the next few days of making the transition final.

I don't think I'll come this way again, so farewell for now little place by the pond.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Bohemian Collective - Autumn Moon Lookbook

I am honored to be a part of the second issue of The Bohemian Collective's lookbook. This one is called Autumn Moon and it's every bit of amazing as the first. It includes some incredible independent artists and companies - styled beautifully and modeled by Laura Mazurek and photographed by Katelyn Demidow. I've been reflecting a lot lately on creative journeys, and where that journey intersects with impacting real people in a real way. This adventure is piece in this puzzle, as a goal of ours is to inspire and create a community of artists who give back. Please consider donating to our chosen charity, To Write Love On Her Arms, who offers hope to people who struggle with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.

Be moved to make a difference. Be inspired.

Thursday, August 9, 2012


To nourish is better than to feed. Gone are the days where I can slam a few mouthfuls of whatever and not pay for it. I can no longer wake up and eat cookies like I used to, I can no longer handle soda like I used to. I balanced my body and it knows where my happy medium is. I feel incredibly lucky that I can go to the store and have my choice of food, whatever my heart desires, without toiling for it, without going hungry ever a day in my life. I keep this in mind when I feed my body. My goal is to keep my body nourished the right way so I can help others do the same. Keep my body strong so I can lift others up. Raw is my choice food, especially when snacking and desserts. Sugar is literally like a poison for me. It wrecks me. On top of green smoothies and other raw greens & veggies, these are my choice raw recipes.

Of course, I fall all the time and make myself some regular cookies or brownies, but I always pay for it afterwards. I find that having the ingredients to make any of these yum-yums keeps me from choosing things that will make me feel rotten. Some of these are variations on a theme, a little dates, cocoa powder, vanilla, nuts. But I like some variation. Most of these I have made, some I am looking forward to. Some musts for raw creating are: dates, raw cashews, raw almonds, raw walnuts, coconut oil, honey, raw oats, raw pecans, cocoa powder, and vanilla. A little staple pantry. It's how food should be, nourishing and a little indulgent.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

End of Summer

My eyes are burning and I'm melancholy but life is good. It is good that I have the experiences felt and not just documented, because I would seriously be in lacking of living life. Here is what I have managed to take in the last couple of weeks. I will blame it on the journey - a new job, a heart awakening, and a family moving.
summer hair.

we're moving.

farm freshness.

I have some things brewing in my heart that I want to share here. Lives I want to save. Things I want to create. Soon. When I have more time and more energy.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Silly little photos

So this post may look vain. Since it has all pictures of me. Well.. it is (and it isn't). It is, because these are all pictures of me, and dressed in some sort of outfit I deemed cute, and taking pictures of myself. But it's more than that. It's sort of about the way I feel when I have something on my body that I enjoy and feel good in. It's less about feeling like I need to live up to a standard, or care about the way people perceive me, or wonder why I take so many pictures of myself. It's not vain in the fact that in my heart, it's not about being obsessed with how I look, it's enjoying how this color or that color went together, or how this piece enhanced this one. It's not about the frilly things or the self-indulgent things, it's about does putting this piece of clothing on my body make me feel a little more sane? Yes. I give out 110% of myself in my day. Some aspect about it has to be about the way something makes me feel emotionally. And it's not as if I spend all day thinking about what I'm wearing, I've got things to do! This is inspired after my dear friend, Laura's post on outfits and how it can make you feel better - her posts got me out of my new mama rut two years ago. I am indebted.

So here's some of my favorite things to wear as they carry me through my hot summer days.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Song of the Open Road

AFOOT and light-hearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose.
Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune,
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms,
Strong and content I travel the open road.
The earth, that is sufficient,
I do not want the constellations any nearer,
I know they are very well where they are,
I know they suffice for those who belong to them.
(Still here I carry my old delicious burdens,
I carry them, men and women, I carry them with me wherever
I go,
I swear it is impossible for me to get rid of them,
I am fill'd with them, and I will fill them in return.)

- Walt Whitman

This poem speaks to my soul. Inherent freedom. The weight that is lifted when I step outside. Everything. This came from a little poem book I bought to read for Bella when I was pregnant with her. And the photo I snapped on the open road in Wyoming way before I knew what it was like to be a mother or a wife. It still calls me. 

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Ebb and Flow

It's a time of ebb and flow for us. Letting things in and letting things go. I feel free and rested and peaceful currently. I'm welcoming the summer time with taking a deep breathe and turning my face up to the sun. At the end of April we stood on the brink of moving to Colorado for a few months, and decided the timing just wasn't right, and we are content with that decision made in just a week. We went from drastic extremes from going to not going over 7 long days, but when the time came, it just didn't feel right. We don't feel like we are setting our dreams down, just choosing which path will take us there. And the job offer is still open ended, so if we feel the time is right, we can take it later in the summer, or next time around, which was like breathing a breath of fresh air to hear.
Physically my body has felt the stress - the stress of money, the stress of unsurety - and I feel like I'm just now pulling out of it. I'm giving myself more grace, taking time to ease down and into what I need to do and want to do. More quality time, with my girls, as a family, and alone. All important aspects of emotional healthiness.

Yummy meals, sitting in the sun, playing in the water, reading a good book have filled our days. This is of course between the cleaning messes, errand running, and moderating sibling fights but even those feel a little more graceful, a little more purposeful.

I have had these thoughts swirling around my head for a while, and thought I would blog when I had it all figured out. But I came to the conclusion, I may never figure out life, so I might as well just live it.

So here's to living.